Saturday, October 18, 2003
Dad (Poppop) and Deven --
Dad still thinks Dev is just spoiled - regardless of the
bp/adhd - and he takes it personally when Deven ignores him or grunts at him
(ummm he is that way w/EVERYONE esp at the end of the day when he's reached
his limits), that he's sad and feels like crying and is sometimes crying on
the inside, etc and then when Dilen starts acting out/exhibiting the same
behaviors he comments it's "learned behavior" and says things to Dilen
like "Why are you acting like your brother? Why are you being bad, you have
been good all day, etc" I am just biting my tongue cause there is no use in
talking/arguing about it... if it was all learned behavior when I take Dilen
aside and chastise him and he doesn't get his way he would stop and that
would be the end but one of the bp signs/symptoms is that they stuck on
something - a red cup, going to store, wearing blue pants, sandwich cut a
certain way, etc and they CAN"T let it go... they just CAN"T - Dilen does
this more and more recently w/things... while some of the issues are acting
out to a point, he's showing more and more signs/markers of the bp... and no
matter what the boys are doing they are too noisy and he just doesn't get
that kids make noise and they can't help it they get excited and have no
volume control or that some of the toys they have are noisey/annoying (but hey they are playing and not fighting or bothering us).... I know he's set in his ways and from the old school of kids should be heard not seen but he's gonna drive me NUTS! Someone suggested taking him to shrink w/me when Dev goes again... he's commented he took care of BP people before but he doesn't get that children present different - I
printed out some stuff to leave laying around in bathroom since he likes to
read while he's on the throne....
The Divorce --
The "waiting period" is being over, it officially ended on Monday which means that E can no longer contest or counter claim my complaint... I went to courthouse on Tues to submit my motion to get a "judgement by default" which basically says/means that I am asking them to grant the divorce because he didn't object and I gave him the allotted time to respond.. They told me I would get a snail mail w/my courtdate to have judge grant the final decree but that I was looking at near Xmas as they are that backlogged on uncontested divorces - ok no biggie.... Fast forward to Thursday - I get a letter from court - open it thinking "wow I have my court date already"... turned out to be my original paperwork from Tuesday w/a note that I needed to include a second paper!!! SOOOO now I have to go BACK to the courthouse w/the papers AGAIN - what really pisses me off is that I HAD the paper w/me when I was there Tuesday - why didn't they tell me I needed it when I was there??? What gets me more is that the wording of the paperwork says "as filed w/the court" which means they have the original on file so why do I need to provide a copy??? GRRRRRRR SOOOO I get to the courthouse and the "desk/recieving" person listens briefly to my story and question and goes to get the person that handles the block of cast numbers mine is in.... Damn this woman was RUDE from the start and didn't even want to hear ANYTHING from me let alone answer a question - she was TOTALLY CONVINCED from the time the desk told her I wanted to talk to her that I was gonna ask for legal advice or something and REFUSED to talk/listen to me... Her supervisor wasn't MUCH better but atleast she attempted to listen to me.... She went back and checked my file, turns out that YES the requested paper was ALREADY in the file - no explaination or apology for the mix up/lack of competency from office/person sending back original paper of course but atleast my paperwork is now all "OFFICIALLY" filed... Of course I asked about my date since it was 3 days later now and I had already been told Xmas... the supervisor said they have some openings on a day in early Dec and she will put me there but again - I'll get the date in the mail - HOPEFULLY by Tues/Weds I will have my courtdate - what gets me is why they can't tell you right there if you are willing to wait 5 or 10 min - they act like they are comteplating revealing the deep secrets of the world to you then say "it's in the mail".... Ahhhhhh what a wonderful world huh??? Such caring, considerate people working in an office that deals with such stressful issues!!!! But anyway.... it is done... for now...
Parent/Teacher Conference --
The meeting lasted all of 5 min I guess - and man those little chairs are little! *L* Deven is doing WONDERFUL in school this year - all S for Satisfactory except for his sucking/chewing items like his fingers/shirts which was an N for Needs Improvement.... what a HUGE change from last year where it was all N's on his report.... The teacher and I are sooo proud of his progress in ALL aspects of school.... Now if I could get some of his great ability to listen, follow directions, clean up, etc to spill over to home!!!! *LOL* But overall it was WONDERFUL meeting - such a HUGE HUGE change from last year!!!!
Well I guess I just covered all the issues of my current life... BTW Dad has extended til 4 Nov if I hadn't mentioned that... it's gonna be a LONG 2.5 weeks more! *L* Til next time...
Dad still thinks Dev is just spoiled - regardless of the
bp/adhd - and he takes it personally when Deven ignores him or grunts at him
(ummm he is that way w/EVERYONE esp at the end of the day when he's reached
his limits), that he's sad and feels like crying and is sometimes crying on
the inside, etc and then when Dilen starts acting out/exhibiting the same
behaviors he comments it's "learned behavior" and says things to Dilen
like "Why are you acting like your brother? Why are you being bad, you have
been good all day, etc" I am just biting my tongue cause there is no use in
talking/arguing about it... if it was all learned behavior when I take Dilen
aside and chastise him and he doesn't get his way he would stop and that
would be the end but one of the bp signs/symptoms is that they stuck on
something - a red cup, going to store, wearing blue pants, sandwich cut a
certain way, etc and they CAN"T let it go... they just CAN"T - Dilen does
this more and more recently w/things... while some of the issues are acting
out to a point, he's showing more and more signs/markers of the bp... and no
matter what the boys are doing they are too noisy and he just doesn't get
that kids make noise and they can't help it they get excited and have no
volume control or that some of the toys they have are noisey/annoying (but hey they are playing and not fighting or bothering us).... I know he's set in his ways and from the old school of kids should be heard not seen but he's gonna drive me NUTS! Someone suggested taking him to shrink w/me when Dev goes again... he's commented he took care of BP people before but he doesn't get that children present different - I
printed out some stuff to leave laying around in bathroom since he likes to
read while he's on the throne....
The Divorce --
The "waiting period" is being over, it officially ended on Monday which means that E can no longer contest or counter claim my complaint... I went to courthouse on Tues to submit my motion to get a "judgement by default" which basically says/means that I am asking them to grant the divorce because he didn't object and I gave him the allotted time to respond.. They told me I would get a snail mail w/my courtdate to have judge grant the final decree but that I was looking at near Xmas as they are that backlogged on uncontested divorces - ok no biggie.... Fast forward to Thursday - I get a letter from court - open it thinking "wow I have my court date already"... turned out to be my original paperwork from Tuesday w/a note that I needed to include a second paper!!! SOOOO now I have to go BACK to the courthouse w/the papers AGAIN - what really pisses me off is that I HAD the paper w/me when I was there Tuesday - why didn't they tell me I needed it when I was there??? What gets me more is that the wording of the paperwork says "as filed w/the court" which means they have the original on file so why do I need to provide a copy??? GRRRRRRR SOOOO I get to the courthouse and the "desk/recieving" person listens briefly to my story and question and goes to get the person that handles the block of cast numbers mine is in.... Damn this woman was RUDE from the start and didn't even want to hear ANYTHING from me let alone answer a question - she was TOTALLY CONVINCED from the time the desk told her I wanted to talk to her that I was gonna ask for legal advice or something and REFUSED to talk/listen to me... Her supervisor wasn't MUCH better but atleast she attempted to listen to me.... She went back and checked my file, turns out that YES the requested paper was ALREADY in the file - no explaination or apology for the mix up/lack of competency from office/person sending back original paper of course but atleast my paperwork is now all "OFFICIALLY" filed... Of course I asked about my date since it was 3 days later now and I had already been told Xmas... the supervisor said they have some openings on a day in early Dec and she will put me there but again - I'll get the date in the mail - HOPEFULLY by Tues/Weds I will have my courtdate - what gets me is why they can't tell you right there if you are willing to wait 5 or 10 min - they act like they are comteplating revealing the deep secrets of the world to you then say "it's in the mail".... Ahhhhhh what a wonderful world huh??? Such caring, considerate people working in an office that deals with such stressful issues!!!! But anyway.... it is done... for now...
Parent/Teacher Conference --
The meeting lasted all of 5 min I guess - and man those little chairs are little! *L* Deven is doing WONDERFUL in school this year - all S for Satisfactory except for his sucking/chewing items like his fingers/shirts which was an N for Needs Improvement.... what a HUGE change from last year where it was all N's on his report.... The teacher and I are sooo proud of his progress in ALL aspects of school.... Now if I could get some of his great ability to listen, follow directions, clean up, etc to spill over to home!!!! *LOL* But overall it was WONDERFUL meeting - such a HUGE HUGE change from last year!!!!
Well I guess I just covered all the issues of my current life... BTW Dad has extended til 4 Nov if I hadn't mentioned that... it's gonna be a LONG 2.5 weeks more! *L* Til next time...
